When my head is full thoughts and my recent days full of extraordinary experience I usually don´t know where to start with. Yet, I am feeling such a strong urge to write that makes me write whatever comes to my mind.
Sometimes, when I later take a look at this whatever I think it really looks like whatever. Nevertheless I am proud of this whatever because it is a part of whatever myself expressed in a digital form, and by regularly doing whatever so I can see myself grow.
When I take a look at my older posts or older art/music work I see words and feelings I would´t associate today with and I can see how much I have changed since then. This rule of course, applies to everyone because the world makes us constantly change.
My last month has been like a proper blessing since I acquired a skill of controlling my subconscious self and since then my life is literally like a heaven.
Recently I´ve learnt few extremely important things that lead me to almost constant happiness and zen mode of living.
First of all, its the discipline that can make you going. Discipline of doing good things for the self.
As some of you who know me personally may know I used to suffer problems with skin for many years and I thought I had tried everything to get rid of it until I sat down, made a sum up of things I´ve tried and things I still should try in order to cure myself.
One day, I just thought, I want to get rid of this problem, I am ready for it, I am tired of waiting and affirmating that the problem will be gone. I need some action because just positive thinking is not enough.
Not to mention more than two years ago I had changed my whole diet, lifestyle and even friends I hang out with. I´ve been eating mostly organic fruits and vegetables becoming a fruitarian/raw vegan (a diet that can cure anything except for the sick mind) I was still breaking out even after one year of this pretty disciplined lifestyle, yet I was told that it takes time until my body cleans itself and the reason why I am still having some issues is due to the detox and alkalisition of my body.
Maybe that was right, but I´ve heard about some people breaking out up to 3 years on this lifestyle and I thought I don´t want to take that long.
So two least complicated things out of my list of things I´ve never really tried was : running and psychologist.
I always did a lot of exercise but I never really did running because I found it extremely boring and I simply didn´t like it. However, I got inspired by my amazing friends who run and thanks God for this.
So there is 5 of them, my runner friends, I don´t think they know each other, they are all of different origins, different country and they all have different genetics. They all drink alcohol, do drugs, eat everything (healthy food and crap food). They are all in about their 30/40ties and they all have amazing skin and body. The thing they have in common is the running, they all run minimum 1h per day.
I thought to myself ¨damn, this shit really works. I want to try it¨
I´ve decided to give it a try and I started to force myself to run everyday until it became my good habit and now I am actually really enjoying it. It wasn´t easy to achieve this and my body was first trying to find every excuse not to run, like for example a pain or feeling weak or whatever else. I kept ignoring signals from my body and listened to the self and miraculously even the pain I´ve originally had disappeared. It´s all in the mind, and if you think you can, you can.
So now, here I am, running 1h almost 6 days per week. If somebody told me this a year ago I probably wouldn´t believe them.
While running, besides being aware the fact that I am doing good to myself having my lymph properly flow and sweating the toxins out I started to tell myself that I love myself that I feel safe and with my mind I´ve been visualising the perfect life I want. Besides I always think about things I am grateful for, material and physicaL. I do this every day. Everyday I tell myself that I am loved, that I am accepted and that I have a real value.
¨FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT¨
The more we repeat those love and acceptance sentences the better, since our subconsciousness will eventually take it as truth. I have a friend who used to have problem with the confidence. She used to wear only clothes that would fully cover her up although she had an amazing figure. Yet, one day she started to wear more open clothes even though she still didn´t feel confident to do so. She told me she started pretending that she is confident to wear more controversial clothes even though she wasn´t feeling it, till one day she really became confident.
At the end I didn´t go see psychologist but I´ve read this book that helped get inside of my brain and see some patterns of behaviour that weren´t right.
I´ve started to catch myself while I was feeling uncomfortable and I was having bad thoughts about myself and my skin.
I started to catch myself being anxious after I´ve eaten some of the foods that isn´t marked as healthy out of the fear.
The book has taught me many useful things, yet the most important was to learn that I don´t need to be perfect.
I´ve learnt that I don´t have to be always strong and I don´t need to be always the best. I can be weak sometimes. The creator loves us just like we are, each one of us.
To a no surprise, my skin got incredibly better and I´ve been told this by few different people. Halleluyah.